On January 29th, 2018 I posted the below to my Facebook for the world to see. Turns out, it would change our lives.
Sara and I had connected on Facebook prior and I had already asked her out. She told me to fuck off. But later on, after this post caught her eye, she melted.
Here is that post:
Relationship Status: dot dot dot…
Modern dating is fucking difficult and yet seemingly simple at the same time.
We can “meet” a few hundred people through endless swiping on the internet. Or we meet out and we trade info, or find each other on social. Sometimes we get setup. Options are never ending, like picking out a house – two story, gray, farmhouse, cul-de-sac, big yard. Still the vast majority of those connections and their conversations go unread, or unfulfilled, or never followed up on. It’s all a lot of challenge and chatter. And it’s ruining love.
We don’t make space for another, we aren’t ready, we swipe right on 15 others and leave people out. It’s like we are interviewing one another. And this communication sucks. Like playing tennis in super slow motion.
We seemingly get to have this one strike policy with people knowing there are still 2.99 million other options. Because “he likes dogs but not rabbits”, she “listens to country but hates Floyd”, they live 35 minutes away, their hair is too dark and they wear plaid — and other stupidity that will have ZERO bearing on a successful relationship.
Then we find someone who appreciates all animals, loves Pink Floyd AND Chris Stapleton, great fashion sense AND lives across town, holy shit jackpot. And we jump in, spend every minute texting, every day together, go on vacation with each other, go ahead and move in together — AND THEN later realize “what the hell was I thinking?”. This person is an asshole or is so arrogant or hates everything or hasn’t got their shit together or they don’t even like their own mother. What the hell?
Then we do the back and forth relationship – I love you I hate you.
Sometimes we find:
People can be incompatible.
Some still need time to grow.
Some need to work on themselves.
Please realize it and MOVE ON. NEVER settle for a revolving door. Have patience but don’t be a pushover.
So have real PATIENCE when it comes to relationships. A solar eclipse doesn’t happen every month. Know what your looking for, date a little, go out together more than twice, learn a little more about yourself and about them, try new things together, give each other space, get really close, be really fucking honest, screw up and makeup, then after ALL that think about changing your Facebook status (or just don’t, for fucks sake). Just be.
Date with a PURPOSE, not just for what you want. Put in some fucking effort. Be committed. Be flexible. Be patient. Have RESPECT for one another. TRUST. Be transparent. Learn to communicate. And it’s “fuck yes” or it’s a no. Period.
I’ve wanted nothing more than to find an AMAZING woman, a fucking awesome PARTNER where we both develop on our own and together, we chase one another, we MAGNIFY each other, we respect and trust indefinitely, we BRING FORTH the BEST.
To find my whoever, wherever she may be:
Please be available. Please be healthy. Please be honest. And please, please be READY.